What’s on Your Fork?

The most positive people in the world and the most negative people in the world have one thing in common: They both want you to share in their experience.

Sure, maybe it’s buried subconsciously, but it’s there, a secret desire for others to feel what we feel, to think what we think. Maybe because it validates our thoughts and feelings. Or maybe both joy and misery love company.

We all do it. We radiate whatever mojo we’re in the middle of. Don’t believe me? Here’s proof:

What happens when you’re dining with a friend and they take a bite of the most delicious food they’ve ever tasted? 

“OH-MY-GOSH-THIS-IS-SOOOOO-GOOD-YOU-HAVE-TO-TASTE-IT!!!!!!” 

This exclamation usually occurs milliseconds before a generous fork-full of that same food item is shoved within millimeters of your mouth.

Ironically, the same thing happens when your friend ingests something disgusting.

“OH-MY-GOSH-THIS-IS-SO-NASTY…YOU-HAVE-TO-TASTE-IT!”
Why, oh why, would you want me to do that???? I can tell by the way your face is contorted that I already agree with you. No taste-testing is necessary. Trust me.

We really want people to experience the same thing we’re experiencing, even if it’s uncomfortable or revolting.

So, which fork-full have you been shoving at people lately? 

Are you lifting others up by sharing your positive, optimistic, joyful experiences or are you dragging people down with your negative mojo?

I am not suggesting that any of us can be positive all the time. My wife has identified that I have at least two days each year where I’m just a completely negative, unhappy idiot. I am still searching for a twelve-step program for this condition.

For years, I let those negative days flow through me like bad Mexican food. I sprayed my negative attitude on anybody and everybody who crossed my daily path, yes, kinda-sorta-hoping I might rub off on them a little bit. I excused myself occasionally with a faux-apologetic, “Sorry, I’m in a bad mood today.” 

I have, however, made progress over time. Now, when I feel one of those days coming on (I usually know by 6:43 am), I try my darndest to keep it to myself. I don’t try to “fake it ’til I make it.” I just limit my interactions with others and keep to myself a bit more than usual until I get my groove back. Is it easy? Are you kidding me? It’s one of the hardest things I do all year (or twice a year…according to my wife).

You see, the emotional part of me wants you to join me in my negativity. The more logical side knows that’s not the best way to win friends and influence people. Logic takes a lot more effort than emotion. I’m pretty sure that’s why you run across more negative people than positive ones.

Before you go back to your day, do me (and yourself) a big favor. As tempted as you may be to do so, DO NOT send this article to somebody you think needs to read it. That would be like pouring gasoline on a pile of wooden matches. It’s not necessary and it will likely burn your eyebrows off. Instead, file this article away in your brain and remember it the next time you feel yourself starting to shove a fork-full of negativity toward somebody.





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