I’m probably going to get hate mail.
I usually do when I call people out. Most people don’t like to be called out. But sometimes it’s necessary, and not just to make me feel better.
Have I ever told you how much I hate victims?
Now, before you bail out of this article and start writing your angry response where you’re going to “set me straight” about how unfair I’m being to victims, at least read a few more sentences.
I am not talking about victims of crime, tragedy, or injustice. (Please read the previous sentence at least twice, slowly, and maybe even out loud).
I’m talking about victims of victim-mentality.
Victims of victim-mentality are those annoying people who refuse to accept responsibility for their own success (or lack thereof).
I’m talking about the people who like to blame anybody and everybody for the fact that their life or circumstance is not picture perfect. They blame their boss, their co-workers, the company, the economy, the mayor, city council, the school board, the governor, the president, congress, and Wall Street (yeah, I said it). Others will blame their brother, sister, mom, dad, grandpa, granny, and uncle Bob.
Victims of victim-mentality are always able to offer an excuse for why they can’t kick butt and take names like a champion. There’s always something or somebody holding them back. They don’t make enough money, they don’t have enough education, they don’t have the right position, the big evil corporations won’t let the little guy play in their sandbox, blah, blah, blah.
One thing they all have in common is that they each have a chip the size of Alaska on their shoulder, and they’re not afraid to show it. “The man” is always holding them down. By the way, “the man” is not a gender reference here (yes, I’m trying to avoid more hate mail). “The man” in this case = the chip. It’s the excuse they like to bring up every chance they get.
I know I shouldn’t hate anyone, but, man do I hate victims of victim-mentality.
“No victims allowed in this house.”
Ask my kids, it’s one of my favorite phrases. Any time a chip shows up on a shoulder (which often sounds a lot like “That’s not FAIR!“), I shout out in my most cheesy-yet-authoritative voice, “No victims allowed in this house.” I’m thinking of making up a sign and hanging it over the couch.
We all suffer from victim-mentality once in a while, because stuff happens. When something bad or — I almost hate to say it — unfair happens, it’s easy to head down Victim Road, yes?
Here’s how to not be a victim of victim-mentality: take control of your life. Take control of your work. Realize that YOU are the one who makes or breaks your destiny, not your boss, your coworkers, your granny, or uncle Bob. YOU. Does that mean more work for you? Um, yeah, but the payoff is huge. Being awesome ain’t always easy.
Life’s not fair. Never was, never will be. But life underestimates you. Always has, always will. I think that’s what Thomas Edison meant when he said “If we did all the things we are capable of, we would truly astound ourselves.”
Victims of victim-mentality never astound anyone. Not in a good way anyway.
— official end of article —
Ok, now that you’ve read the article, what are you going to do? If you truly want to take more control of your life and your work, I want to invite you to our next signature event on March 13th, The Secrets of Greener Grass. I specifically designed this workshop to help erase victim-mentality from the workplace and to help people create the kind of workplace they’ve always dreamed of. Click here for more info on this one-of-a-kind event.