How To Get What You Truly Want

What do you really want?

Some people love the game of golf.

Me? I love golf courses.

A golf course is man’s best attempt to manipulate and maximize nature. No place on earth is more manicured, maintained, and protected as well as a country club golf course. And the stunning collection of magazine-worthy homes that line the tees, greens, and fairways never fails to impress. Peeking into the back yards of professional athletes, corporate executives, and trust-fund babies is one of my favorite past-times.

Can you tell I played golf recently? My golfing buddies predicted my next article would be inspired by our golf outing. Apparently, I am quite predictable.

When I returned home from the links, I gave my wife a house-by-house account of the enormous dwellings I had seen during my round. I then asked her the question that had been on my mind all afternoon:

Why don’t WE live in a big, beautiful house on a golf course?

I admit it, I sometimes suffer from house envy.

Now you have to understand something. My wife is wise. She is one of the most sensible, grounded people I have ever met. And I think it’s important to note that during her college years, she spent a lot of time at her dad’s house…on the 18th hole of a country club golf course. All of this combined made her reply one of the most enlightening experiences of my life:

We don’t have a big, beautiful house on a golf course because we don’t want a big, beautiful house on a golf course.

I instantly knew her wisdom to be true. And it blew my mind.

If I truly wanted a big, beautiful house on a golf course, I’d have one. Not because I’m wealthy enough to buy whatever I want, but because when we truly want something, we arrange our life in such a way to make it happen. It doesn’t always happen in every circumstance, but it happens enough to make me believe it’s true. And I’m not talking about the law of attraction (the idea that just wanting something makes it happen). I’m talking about the idea that when something is a priority, we make it happen.

But maybe I’m thinking about this all wrong, maybe I don’t want to live on a golf course, but maybe I could persuade my wife to instead purchase a golf simulator from a website like, that might be a better thing to aim for. And at least then you can put it away when you don’t want to play with it. Which, of course, will keep my wife happy. But then again, it’s not quite the same as stepping out your front door onto a golf course. But as I said previously, if I truly wanted it, then I would have it by now.

Think about the most important “stuff” in your life. You have the job, the spouse, and the house you have right now because it’s the one you wanted at some point. At one point it was your priority. Even if you’re not so fond of it now, you DID want it enough to pursue it, win it, and hopefully enjoy it.


As my mind began to piece itself back together, I started thinking about all the stuff I DON’T have, but I still sorta/kinda envy. I even pulled out my bucket list to see what silly stuff was on there that I think I “should” have someday rather than things I truly want in my life before I kick said bucket. Needless to say, my list is shorter today than it was a week ago. And I feel a little more free.

I also realized there are some things that I DO want that I really haven’t done anything yet to make them a reality…which is the number one reason why I don’t have them yet.


So, what do YOU want?

I mean really, truly want? Is there something you look at and wonder “Why don’t I have one of those?”

There’s no right or wrong answer here. If you want a big, beautiful house on a golf course, that’s great. Invite me over. If you want a job where you get to be creative all day long, rock on. If you want a loving, affectionate marriage that lasts a lifetime, I want that for you, too.

The one thing to remember from this: If you truly want something, you have to make it your priority. And you have to arrange your life so you can take the actions that will make it happen.




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